


Privacy

by QueenNoPlot



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alien Sex, Blushing, Cade’s poor barn, Cade’s poor truck, G1 Hound, Hound isn’t fat because I respect him, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Robot Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Sex with Inanimate Objects, Smut, Spike - Freeform, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Valve Fingering (Transformers), Xenophilia, barn husbands, cybertronian sex, inventions, valve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22390543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenNoPlot/pseuds/QueenNoPlot
Summary: Cade just got around to accepting that the giant alien robots are, in fact, real. Now he has to accept that these very real giant robots will not only mate with each other, but with anything that can support their weight.AOE AU: Optimus either has returned or never left, all you need to know is the War is over and he won.
Relationships: Bumblebee/Optimus Prime, Crosshairs/Optimus Prime, Drift | Deadlock/Optimus Prime, Hound/Optimus Prime, Optimus Prime/Cade Yeager
Comments: 18
Kudos: 227





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance for this expository chapter. The next chapter will be very sticky!

Cade doesn’t know what to think anymore. Sure, he’s heard plenty of dirty jokes from some of the ‘Bots. But he never, ever expected to step outside one morning and be greeted with  _obscenely_ erotic noises coming from behind his barn. He’s not sure what he expected to find, but it certainly wasn’t Crosshairs getting pounded into the dirt by  _Optimus Prime_. He’s never done a one-eighty so fast in his life.

And it got  _worse_ , too.

Not a week later and the Autobot leader has been spotted – and  _heard_ , holy fuck – getting it on with not only Crosshairs, but every other ‘Bot as well. At first Cade just assumed they were all gay, but a double-take when he saw a flash of yellow revealed a bit of anatomy. This anatomy placed these sexual activities as very much  _not gay_.

Though he would need to ask some questions before having a final conclusion, his inference is simple and makes more sense than being surrounded by gay robots: Cybertronians are hermaphrodites.

The incidents died down for a while, then completely disappeared. Cade hoped they wouldn’t need to have such a week again for a very long time, wondering if maybe it was some sort of domination ritual of their species. He noticed the ‘Bots, especially Crosshairs, were more responsive and obedient to their commander after the ordeal, which backed up his theory pretty well. Optimus was probably just reestablishing the pecking order. While simultaneously raising morale.

If there’s one thing he’s grateful for, it’s that none of this happened with any human other than himself around to witness it. Tessa is off in college, which means Shane has no reason to stop by. And  _that_ means Cade can observe without the fear of being caught watching like some rude voyeur.

This morning, however, that fear has simply been redirected. At first he just growls when he sits on the front porch and is greeted by a loud groan. The following couple of seconds brings absolute terror, the awful sound of wood crunching and metal scraping forcing him to actually look and oh  _fuck_ , Optimus is  _rutting_ against the corner of the barn.

“Hey!” A wood-splintering hump and a groan sends Cade off the porch and running across the yard. “HEY! Stop! Optimus, NO! N–!”

He reflexively ducks at a particularly loud protest of the wood beam chosen for the Prime’s lovemaking efforts. The mech pauses with a huff and looks down at the human.

“Cade? You seem stressed.”

“Yeah, so does my  _barn_!”

As if snapped out of a stupor, Optimus releases his grip from the barn walls and steps back to observe the damage. Cade swears he almost looks  _pleased_ with the gouges in the wood and the corner that’s been all but smoothed down. Specifically at groin height.

“What the fuck, man?” Cade continues, trying desperately to keep his eyes far away from the mech’s stiff rod. “Can’t you do that with one of your Autobots? Or go fuck a rock or something?”

“A rock?”

“Something that isn’t mine and won’t break.”

“Cade,” Optimus sighs. There’s a metal clunking and his equipment is hidden away. “I have driven miles in search of an inanimate interface partner. I have yet to locate anything suitable.”

“Why would you need an...inanimate partner?” He asks. “Have the others been turning you down?”

“No. I have not been asking it of them. Allow me to enlighten you.”

Cade nods and follows Optimus to the house – please, not the  _house_ – where he lowers himself to sit on the grass. The human swallows his sigh of relief, climbs the steps, and turns the porch chair toward the robot before sitting in it. At this level they are almost eye-to-optic.

“Cade,” Optimus begins, “I would first like to apologize for last month’s week-long incident and any inconvenience I caused you.”

“Of course I forgive you for that. From what I could tell, it seemed like you were acting instinctually.”

“That is an accurate observation,” the flamed mech says with a little surprise. “As a Prime, I experience a monthly heat cycle. The system that controls it goes dormant if it detects prolonged physical or emotional stress and remains dormant until it is certain I am in a safe environment.”

“That’s why you never had it the last couple of years,” Cade muses. “But now that you’ve won the War, you don’t have to worry so much.”

“Precisely. When my heat came back last month, I was caught off guard and thus acted inconsiderately. An unexpected heat cycle gives an individual a one-track processor, as you might say. I was so driven by the carnal desire to mate I did not consider you being witness to it.”

“Is your heat cycle the only time that you, uh...interface?”

“No, I have always interfaced regularly when possible.” He chuckles at Cade’s raised eyebrow. “The act of intimacy for us relieves great amounts of emotional stress and eases most of the pressure in our frames. You had not known this because my chosen partner and I have been going away from the farm to interface in private.”

“Oh. That explains why your ‘errands’ into town always take so long.”

“Since I hate to lie, I still bring things back to you.”

“Yeah...my favorite so far is that horse. But... _why_ do you need an inanimate object to mate with? It seemed like the others really enjoyed you mating with them.”

“That is true. However, there is a major component that I must take into account. We are synchronous hermaphrodites. This means that the vast majority of us possess the ability to both sire and carry offspring. Primes like myself are normally virtually sterile, but when in heat are extremely fertile. This makes it nearly certain that a Prime who mates in heat will breed successfully. Does this make sense?”

“Yeah, I understand.” For the most part, anyway.

“Good. Even though we are no longer at war, Earth is not the ideal environment for raising a sparkling. We have fast-acting, energon-based contraceptives that work perfectly outside of Prime heat cycles. They will work for a while, but Primes are notorious for burning through them at a faster rate than standards like my Autobots, specifically during interface. The more times I mate while in heat, the less effective my contraceptive will be, and that is a problem. To ensure that I do not sire any sparklings this time, I have limited myself to one interface per solar cycle. That will give my contraceptive enough time to regain its strength.”

“Wait, ‘this time’? Are you...?”

“I am currently in heat, yes. I interfaced last night, but this morning I became aroused again and need to take care of it without another ‘Bot.”

“Well, that explains all the noise last night.”

That’s what makes the great Autobot leader blush.

“I apologize. We were trying to be quiet. I did not want to wake you...”

“It’s fine, I was already awake. You have to understand, though...” Cade holds back a laugh. “You’re made of metal. It doesn’t matter how quiet your voices are if you’re going to thrust that  hard .“

“I will be sure to tell Drift to be gentler next time.”

“Drift?”

Optimus nods. “He adores me in every way, so I wanted to let him experience mounting me.”

“I...a simple ‘yes’ would have sufficed.”

“My apologies. We spoke freely of our interface lives on Cybertron. I am still adjusting to Earth culture.”

“Well, part of that ‘Earth culture’ is  _not_ fucking people’s property,” Cade says as he points to the barn. “I think I understand why you did that, but you have three choices here. One, only interface with the others. Two, go somewhere outside the farm and find something to bang that isn’t someone’s property. And three, I make something for you that you can fuck to your spark’s content in the privacy of the barn. Or, you know, good old masturbation.”

“Self-service does little to ease a heat cycle.” Optimus vents, but looks at the human with intrigue. “I would, however, be interested to see what sort of interface toy you might build.”

“If that’s the way you wanna go, I’m gonna need a  _lot_ of questions answered.”


	2. Trials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Optimus tries his new toy. Alternatively: OP doesn’t know what a jackhammer is because humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short but I plan to add more chapters, including one titled Errors, in which Optimus will be caught fucking more inanimate objects that are not his to fuck.
> 
> Enjoy!

Cade can’t believe it. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was dreaming, but he isn’t. He made sure.

The questions made for a  very embarrassing week, but watching Optimus get on his knee struts and push the large, smooth metal object into himself was certainly worth the discomfort. The mech holds the remote for it, which he’s been calibrating less and less stoically while Cade fights his own arousal. The mighty Prime is down on one servo, lubricant dripping steadily to the floor between his spread legs, moaning and unable to stay still with the buzzing object in his valve. Cade  _swears_ he hears  _purring_ under all his noise, and not just from his engine.

The mech uses his free hand to play with the position and angle of the vibrator for a minute. It’s obscenely obvious when he finds what he’s searching for – he cries out, drops the remote to dig furrows into the concrete, and a gush of lubricant spills down his hand and onto the floor. Then, with a soft moan, he relaxes. Cade’s quite proud of himself, at least until Optimus pulls the device out and sets it in front of him. Even through the viscous purple fluid coating it he can clearly see where the metal has split.

“I believe the next iteration must be reinforced,” the mech rumbles.

Trial one: Optimus broke it.

“Did you, uh...?”

“No.”

“Oh.” Cade looks at him, then at the vibrator, and back. “Why don’t you...take care of that, while I fix this?”

“May I do so in here?”

“Yeah, sure.”

What the  _fuck_ was he thinking?

* * *

Three hours of back and forth between working and trying not to watch Optimus overload for the umpteenth time, and Cade has finally repaired and reinforced the Cybertronian-sized toy. But Cade is too polite to interrupt a mech on the road to ecstasy, so he waits a couple more minutes until that powerful frame reaches yet another climax, accompanied by a groan he’s surprised he still finds obscenely erotic. Only when he hears the Prime crash back into the floor does he turn around and roll his fixed invention across the barn to the ‘Bot lying on the floor, stopping at his ped.

“Hey, I finished.” Cade has to try hard not to stare at the sizable puddle between the metal legs spread before him, not to mention the mech’s equipment. “Feeling any better?”

“Relaxed, yes,” Optimus purrs – the purring is confirmed! – as he pushes himself up. “Otherwise, no.”

Cade steps back to let him take the device.

“Oh. Sorry. I think you should use the other f–“ His petty human resolve nearly fails when the mech shoves the vibrator in unceremoniously and he fights to not say  _ FUCK_. “Fu-uh–  _function_.”

He isn’t particularly comfortable with the look he gets from the giant robot. Were his pants always this tight...?

“A wonderful idea,” Optimus rumbles, engine revving as he picks up the remote.

He turns on the vibrations first. Cade can tell because he reacts to it the same way, closing his optics and moaning softly. He knows when Optimus turns on the secondary function because he opens his optics and looks down, audio dials spinning like they do when he’s curious.

“Oh.” A moment for the device to set, then it activates. “Ohh... Cade...”

“What?”

“This... It feels...like a spike...”

“Oh, good,” Cade sighs. “That means it’s working.”

“How did you–?”

“Modified a jackhammer.” Optimus actually looks  _proud_ of him. “Do you like it?”

“Frag yes.” Just for getting the Optimus Prime version of “fuck yeah,” Cade’s proud of himself. “How fast can it go?”

Trial two: Success, aside from Optimus not knowing what a jackhammer is.


	3. Error & Success

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cade’s poor truck.
> 
> Have some top-notch smut from your truly :)

“ _Optimus_!”

Cade bolts upright out of his sleep, then flops back down with a frustrated grunt. Being awoken in the middle of the night has been a theme for the last three days. The culprit is always a voice from outside, like that one.

“Optimus, put that down _right now_!”

That sounds like Hound... Cade listens with a little more interest when he hears a low growl, and then he curses. He can hear metal scraping. Rhythmically.

“Cade is going to _kill you_ , Prime!”

Louder growling and a particularly harsh metallic clang later, Cade is down the stairs.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Hound is growling back as the human opens the front door, right on cue with a loud groan and the shatter of glass.

“Okay, what is–“ Cade stops in the middle of the porch.

It’s a sight he wishes he could unsee. Like that glimpse he’d gotten of Crosshairs under the Prime. But instead of Crosshairs, it’s Cade’s Chevy wedged between the mech’s thighs. Windows shattered, sides crumpled, and sporting splatters of transfluid so fresh it’s still dripping from Optimus’ half-hard spike onto the truck bed. The mech is still holding onto the truck and he grinds into it with a pointed look at Hound that very clearly says “fuck you” and “fuck off.” Then the green mech directs the attention to the human in shock and Optimus freezes.

Oh, how Cade wants to scream at the sky.

“Optimus...why...the _fuck_...?!”

The mech lets go of the truck, steps back, and shoves his equipment under his panel. Cade thinks he’s blushing, but it’s hard to tell in the dark.

“You know what? You can keep that,” Cade says as he points to the ruined machine. “You’re my ride from now on.”

* * *

First it was Cade’s truck. Then, the old above-ground septic tank, fortunately no longer in use. A couple days later, a _back_ corner of the barn, a sneaky endeavor that lasted longer than the other two and was only found out because of the telling groans and Crosshairs’ smirk. The vibrator alone is obviously not enough, given that on some days of his heat, Optimus is clearly aching to utilize his spike even after a good frag.

Cade, his tolerance for the misuse of inanimate objects waning, considered a few options. He approached the discussion with the mech with caution, most certainly not wanting to suggest something...taboo, for lack of a better word. Optimus patiently heard him out, then agreed, after telling Cade what to expect. 

After a blur of events both terrifying and amazing, Cade wakes up draped over a warm, gently vibrating metal body. It takes him a moment to recollect what happened and who’s in his bed with him. When he remembers, he blushes.

He had sex with _Optimus Prime_.

And his body is paying the price, especially down where the magic happened. He concludes he had underestimated just how powerful Optimus is, despite being mass-displaced to a mere six feet tall. He supposes an underestimate should be expected – he isn’t exactly used to having sex with a partner who’s in heat. Or made of metal. But fuck, it sure did make for the hottest session he’d ever had.

Carefully, Cade moves off of the mech, rolling onto his back and taking a moment to clear his eyes. His legs are incredibly sore. He wouldn’t be surprised if he’s bruised.

“Cade...”

He turns his head. He can’t place the look in Optimus’ optics, but it makes his heart twist in an oddly pleasant way.

“Hey.”

“I am aroused,” the Prime informs him matter-of-factly.

“Again? Well...” Cade looks up to the ceiling, considers, and returns his seductive gaze to the mech beside him. “What are you gonna do about it?”

His only warning is the flash of metal passing through the rays of the rising sun, and Cade finds himself pinned beneath the mech’s heavy frame. His optics scan the human for discomfort, and when he sees none he ventures his helm down to nuzzle his neck. Gently because humans are rather delicate, Optimus nibbles and licks him, just as he’d done last night.

Cade gasps and reflexively slides a foot in towards himself, not expecting his knee to go straight up to the apex of Optimus’ legs. The contact is a pleasant surprise for the Autobot, but the resulting lapse in control isn’t so pleasant for Cade. In his burst of excitement, the mech pushes his legs apart and shoves his hips down in an attempt to rut into his valve – but alas, male humans don’t have that. The result is an awkward, slightly painful grinding of metal on skin.

“Uh, Optimus...?”

The mech lets out a growl of dissatisfaction and drops a hand to search out the entrance he remembers from last night.

“Hey, hey!” Cade removes the hand from between his legs. “Easy, there.”

With a groan of pure sexual frustration, Optimus uses his other hand to go after a different target.

“Oh!” The human jolts, surprised to have those deft metal fingers wrapping around his cock. “Oh. Okay. We’re doing this, then...”

Purring in confirmation, Optimus leans down and puts his mouth to Cade’s jaw, getting him to turn his head up and give him better access to his neck. As the mech sets about figuring out how to leave a mark without hurting him, Cade begins to respond to the hand steadily pumping his shaft. After a couple minutes, Optimus is satisfied with how hard the human’s spike is and abandons his neck to pull himself upright and climb into a better position for what he wants.

“Oh, fuck...!” Cade gasps as the mech straddles his waist.

Optimus purrs again, reaching a hand behind him to stroke his lover’s equipment. “Ready?”

Feeling a tad lightheaded, Cade nods.

With a powerful rev of his engine that vibrates both of their bodies, the Prime lifts himself up, reaches between his legs, and guides Cade to his valve. He sinks down and lets out a moan halfway, enjoying the whimpering sounds from below him. To his pleasant surprise, Cade’s spike is as good a fit in his valve as Drift’s, and he can’t help himself when he reaches the base. With a deep, reverberating groan, he follows Cade’s example.

“ _Fuck_...”

Cade stares at him, eyes wide in utter disbelief, then fails to stifle a laugh. Not only is it a feat for him to have this powerful robot alien taking his cock, he can’t believe he just heard Optimus Prime say “fuck.”

Optimus just gives him that growl-purr sound that Cade learned conveys amusement. Then he starts moving. Optimus rides him as if he has a million years’ worth of experience – which he might actually have, when Cade thinks about it. But soon he can’t think of anything other than that tight, wet heat pushing and pulling around his cock, and how strangely good it feels when the mech’s metal meets his skin.

The inside of Optimus’ valve feels like a mesh metal sheath, an odd but pleasurable sensation. The way it constricts and ripples surprises Cade. He imagines the Prime had probably felt a similar degree of surprise last night. The human grabs the plating on the mech’s waist and dares to slide his thumbs down into parallel seams on his sides.

Optimus’ entire frame shudders and he groans, armor flaring as he stills. Said flaring startles Cade, who promptly moves his hands away. He watches in fascination as the armor smooths back down.

“Uh...what was that?”

“A sensory overload,” Optimus vents.

“You didn’t...” he trails off as he looks down to his array, still primed for interface.

“Sensory, Cade,” he purrs as he lifts himself up a bit, then presses back down. “Not charge.”

He stills again, as Cade is still confused.

“Sexual charge.” He lifts up again, but this time he stays there. “Thrust.”

Putting his feet flat on the bed for leverage, Cade obeys. Optimus leans forward, puts his hands on the bed on either side of Cade, and moans.

“Faster.”

“As – uhh – you wish...”

Cade steadies himself with his hands on the mech’s hips and picks up the pace, trying not to rush in his desire to see, hear, and feel Optimus at the height of ecstasy. He remembers the Prime being a little loud last night, but that doesn’t compare to the noise he’s making now. The mech is lost in his own vocalizations. His valve ripples and squeezes more frequently as he nears his overload. The thick, purple lubricant produced by the component leaves a tingling sensation on Cade’s cock and groin, as if it has an electrical charge going through it. He supposes it has something to do with the “sexual charge” Optimus mentioned.

Looking down to watch the action, Cade’s attention is caught by the heavy shaft hanging from the mech’s crotch. He remembers how slow and difficult it had been trying to fit it in his ass, what a _huge_ stretch it was. Fortunately for him, once he’d been pried open by it and an entire bottle of lubricant, it only got easier and he was rewarded for his patience with the most intense orgasm he’d ever had. Damn, he wishes he could have that spike back in him. But right now, however, it’s _his_ spike being taken.

Cade pants and groans as Optimus starts pushing down against his thrusts, fucking himself harder on his human lover. The expressions and sounds of the mech in heat do just as much to pleasure Cade as that tight, wet warmth pushing and pulling on his throbbing cock. On a particularly deep grind, he hits a hypersensitive cluster of circuits. Optimus shouts and arches his back as his valve constricts and releases a thick gush of lubricant, all while continuing to ride Cade. A few more thrusts into that tight heat has Cade spilling into him with a heavy groan.

Optimus purrs while he slows the pace down to a complete stop, sitting up and rocking gently on his human’s softening shaft. His own spike is sliding back up into its sheath, which Cade watches in fascination. The Cybertronian stops his movements and gently pulls himself off of Cade, grunting when he flops onto his back beside him.

“Was that good?” Cade pants.

“Very,” Optimus rumbles. “Thank you.”

“Thank _you_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Twitter and tumblr for fic sneak peeks, always @QueenNoPlot

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me HERE: queennoplot.tumblr.com


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